Start With the Nickname: Writing an Obituary in Their Own Voice

The dates come easily. Born here, married there, survived by these people. It's the middle part that stalls families, the part where the words are supposed to sound like the person you loved. You sit at the kitchen table with a pen and a cup of coffee gone cold, and everything you write sounds like a form.

We once read an obituary that a man had clearly written himself, and he wasn't about to let a little thing like dying keep him from telling it his way. He bragged about his wife. He gave his kids the nicknames only they ever used. He told on the dog, calling it the worst gift the family ever received. He signed off by asking everyone to have a drink for him. Nobody who knew him read it and thought it could have been about anyone else.

What made it work wasn't fancy writing. It was details. A nickname, a favorite saying, a story that gets told at every holiday, the thing he could do all day and never tire of. Those small, specific pieces do more than any list of accomplishments, because they're the parts a person's family recognizes the second they read them.

Families often tell us they know these details by heart and still can't get them onto the page. That's normal. When you're grieving, it's hard to feel funny or clever or even organized, and the pressure to get it right makes it harder. You aren't expected to be a writer. You're only trying to sound like someone you know very well.

You might find it helps to put the pen down and answer a few questions out loud first. What did people always say about them? What nickname did only the family use? What story did they tell that went sideways and became the one everybody still laughs about? If you had to describe their whole life in a single sentence, in their own words, what would it be? Write down whatever comes, even if it's messy. You can sort it out later.

Then write it the way they would have said it, and read it out loud to someone who knew them. If it sounds like a form, keep going. If you smile, or someone in the room laughs and then gets teary, you're close. Our team can also help you turn your notes into a first draft in the person's own voice, including with AI tools that do the heavy lifting of shaping the words. Whatever you use, you're the one who knows them, so the final edit belongs to you.

It's okay if the obituary has a little humor in it, or a little mischief. It's okay if it's short. A funeral director can also help with the practical side, like newspaper length and deadlines, so you can spend your time on the part only you can do.

Thank you for reading our blog. At Wheelan-Pressly Funeral Home and Crematory, we're honored to serve our community. If you have any questions or need assistance, please feel free to contact us at (309) 786-5421 or visit our website.

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Giving Back as a Family: Service Projects Older Adults and Kids Can Do Together

By Wheelan Pressly Funeral Home and Crematory Admin • June 1, 2026

Spring has a way of bringing families back outside, back together, and back into the life of the community. Around Memorial Day especially, many people start looking for simple, meaningful ways to honor others while spending time with the people they love. For older adults and children, service can be one of the best ways to do both. Acts of kindness do not have to be big or physically demanding to matter. Some of the most meaningful projects are the ones that happen around a kitchen table, on a front porch, or through a short visit and a kind word. When grandparents, parents, and children serve together, each generation brings something important: energy, patience, perspective, creativity, and heart. At Wheelan-Pressly Funeral Home and Crematory , we know community is often built through these quiet acts of care. Families across Rock Island, Milan, and Reynolds often find that giving back together becomes more than a seasonal activity. It becomes a tradition. One simple place to start is with cards for veterans. Around Memorial Day, kids can draw pictures or write short thank-you notes, while older adults can help with messages, share memories of loved ones who served, or simply sit and create together. It is an easy project to adapt for different ages and abilities, and it gives children a gentle way to learn about remembrance and gratitude. Another good option is a small collection drive. Families can gather pantry items, toiletries, socks, or puzzle books for a local pantry, shelter, veteran organization, or senior program. Children can decorate signs and help sort donations. Older adults can help organize supplies, make calls, or spread the word to friends and neighbors. It does not have to be large to make a difference. Sometimes, the most meaningful service is personal. A call, note, or short visit to an isolated neighbor can brighten someone’s entire week. Children can make cheerful cards. Older adults can suggest who may appreciate a check-in or help start a conversation. These moments remind people they are remembered, which is often the gift they need most. Families can also care for places of remembrance in spring by bringing fresh flowers to a loved one’s grave, tidying a memorial space, or taking a quiet moment to share stories. Memorial Day offers a natural opportunity to connect service with memory in a way that feels gentle and personal. The best projects are the ones that fit your family as it is. They do not need to be perfect, polished, or exhausting. They only need to be thoughtful enough to do together. People Also Ask What are easy Memorial Day service projects grandparents and grandkids can do together? Making cards for veterans, collecting pantry or hygiene items, and checking in on isolated neighbors are all simple, meaningful options. How can older adults participate in volunteer work if mobility is limited? Writing notes, making calls, sorting donations, and helping children with crafts or care packages are all valuable ways to serve. Why is volunteering together good for families? It helps children learn compassion, gives older adults a sense of connection and purpose, and creates shared memories centered on kindness. This season, a small act of kindness may become one of the memories your family carries forward. To learn more about how Wheelan-Pressly Funeral Home and Crematory supports families and community traditions, visit our website or call 309-786-5421. Wheelan-Pressly is here when your family needs care, guidance, and a trusted local connection.